• 3/7/2019
    Today I share a new thought. This time regarding the concept of time, related to building a relationship between two people. I wonder if you have ever thought about that or not.
    Is time important for you or not? I mean is “time” important or is “building a new relationship” important? Which one is the most important for your purpose and how do you manage them together?
    Ask yourself first which is your purpose, to know which road to follow and how to answer these questions. Yes, it may take time to evaluate and be clear about them with oneself first.
    The first time I decided to visit an online dating site I was not aware about all these subjects at all, and was even confused about what I would find or do here and how would I feel as well. Today I know these are all paradigms, and nothing more than that.
    How much time are you committed with yourself to spend on an online dating site, toward that goal? Ah yes, the goal would be different for every member of the site of course. For some the goal is to find a significant one, for others just find friendship first and then see what else may happen or not happen.
    You maybe even chatting with someone for a long time and many pages and one day it ends and you both learned a lot about life and relationships. I am sure because I did that too. I can say it has been amazing!!! Still listen to this, we both spent time with each other supporting the conversation asking and answering questions from both sides. It is very nurturing and healing at the same time. I would say it is an awesome way to heal previous life experiences for both persons that engage in going through that experience. I highly recommend it because it also help develop your inner consciousness and bring back your confidence and self esteem if something lowered it on the way. It may have happened! We all know that!
    I did not know myself about all these possibilities when I came to an online dating site and I do believe they are really very helpful depending of how you use them. The bad things here are the hackers and fake profiles still we have them even on Facebook and LinkedIn too. So, it’s about being able to detect them, and this is possible.
    Have you ever though if being on a dating site like this, would help you? I am sure we all went through fear the first time we touched base here or in any one of the existing online dating sites, out there as well!
    Are you only in this site or are you here and in the 8 other online dating sites out there, looking how to manage your personal life project? Yes, I do believe it takes time and as well one has to define what is more helpful, if to be in one site understanding how it really works and use it at its full potential or be in 8 sites even while not understanding how to use them as a member.
    Each one of these sites is different and we all have to learn how to use it first to try to find some results, men or woman with whom to chat first and see how it works. It happened to all of us. Until the day you understand you better stay in 1, 2 or 3 sites knowing how they work and how to use them right, instead of being in 8 sites and getting crazy as it also happened to me at the beginning receiving 20 to 40 mail notifications about people when in some sites I did not even had information from where to know anything about me. It was crazy!!! So, I began to realize what was behind the curtains. I called it absolute CAOS!!!
    There is even a TED talk of someone that found her significant one, on one of the online dating sites and made an interesting analysis about her founding’s. Yes, she found him there, they met, got married and have children today. I loved her TED talk!
    So now that you have this information, do you think you have a plan?
    There is also another important issue related with time on online dating sites, and it is related with our own commitment and engagement with doing the work of writing and answering. Many times, we end being very disappointed because we do not receive answers as soon as we may write and answer. It may be even very frustrating at times, so it takes important words of which to think about, and even meditate, like respect, compassion and understanding that if you do not want to continue writing to the other person say it in a polite way and stop writing or making them wait forever, such a sad experience to go through for sure for anyone!
    When things are meant to be, they happen, and people meet, and when they are not meant to be, they do not happen. It is as well important to understand that fact.
    There is as well an important piece I want to add; we may communicate with another person for which timing is different and needs more time to process all these new experiences himself or herself. If this is communicated time can be considered and pace be adapted too, to whatever had to be developed in each case.
    Sometimes the fact of having gone through different life experiences and having a different character, makes it slower for one compared to the other one, in the process of building a new relationship between two persons. This is about trust, confidence, perception and it takes patience and compassion to be able to understand what is going on, to smooth and enjoy the process of knowing each other and feel if there is a possible fit between them toward building a relationship or not.
    Remember it takes two to tango!
    Thanks for reading and I wish you enjoyed what I said and would love to read what you think about my thoughts on “Time and relationships” today
  • If you could condense this to about 50% the size, I'd say bravo! It is still very good, but time-consuming to read for those of us who are getting accustomed to on-liners. --Iyyov
  • Iyyov congratulations You did it!! Thanks!!!
  • Esther you’re awesome !! This is great !! We can all learn a thing or two and can start thinking deep too I just want to say thank you !!
  • Thanks Honeybun for reading my post and I am very happy you liked and enjoyed it too.
  • I agree that this is a total process. I, for one, are on only one dating site. That's enough. I dig into what is going on with me, how I am told, "Not a match, " and not let my self esteem be effected. I look at it like meditating. The thought comes in, I look at it, and do not entertain any feelings, and just let it go by. I actually enjoy the process. I agree with the "Project." No stigma; no negativity.
    Just, a learning curve, and I filter out a lot of the what and Who I am looking for and perhaps, how far I am willing to travel, both physically and psychologically. Just interesting.
  • I think it is time to realize everything in life "is a total process". It is good that you bring to the forum your experience on "what is going on with you, how you are told, "Not a match" and not let your self esteem be affected". I think it gives the opportunity from here to also, I do believe, ask for education and yes it is a great recommendation to meditate for others, regarding how they communicate or say things. Great you are positive and "actually enjoy the process". So I do believe it is a good idea to support the idea of the "Project: No stigma; no negativity". This may for sure improve communication between people here. I like the "learning curve" concept "filter out a lot of the what and Who one is looking for and perhaps, how far one is willing to travel, both physically and psychologically" Sounds very interesting.
  • Hello Honeybun. I replied to you e-mail didn't I about that song? If not, let me know and I'll re-do it.
  • Yes I did Iyyov , thank you !!